I believe one of life's greatest quests is finding and keeping true love. People go to the limit for it and put their vulnerablilty on the line for one person. Sometimes the ending is sweet, but other times we want beat ourselves into oblivion to escape the loneliness. Love is the greatest expectation known to man, but sadly only a few of us will ever get to experience it.

Over the course of my life, one thing I've never wanted to be was average. I saw being average as something negative and unoriginal. My self-esteem suffered so much because I was never the best at anything and I didn't do things that were considered extraordinary. Today, I realized that I may seem average in the grand scheme of things, but on the inside I am awesome.

For the longest time I wanted to be the one that was talked about for years on end (Achilles Syndrome much?) who was loved and adored by everyone. I see now that as long as I have made the smallest impact on one person and as long as I have a few people that love me I am pretty much set. The people that really matter will never forget you. This gives me a glimmer of hope for my existence.

Recently, I have come across some individuals that were just as obsessed with perfection as I was. The only difference is that they were able to carry it out. Some were Ivy Leaguers, some were physically beautiful, and others had artistic talent that only a few are blessed with in this day and age. To my surprise none of these people were happy. Here I am, an average Joe with an average life, and I have more love around me than they could comprehend. At first, I didn't see how these people were so unhappy. I wanted to punch them in the face for being so idiotic! I was inwardly screaming at them, "Stop whining, you're perfect!" Now, I see that I actually have more than they will ever have and that makes me smile.

I'm going to make it my mission to embrace my "averageness". This does not mean I will not strive to better myself, but I will take a step back and look at what's really important. I value the connections I have with my friends and family over everything else. A Lot of people out in the world can't say that and for that I am grateful. Maybe God doesn't hate me after all.

I've come to accept the fact that I was not put on this earth to be a human calculator or someone who will make the next big scientific discovery. I may never be model thin and there is a one to a billion chance that I will ever be famous. Surprisingly, this is starting to become okay with me. I believe I was put on this earth to be a good friend and someone others can depend. It's small, but it means so much. People tell me that all the time. I'm always the person people come to with their private struggles and secrets. I appreciate them for trusting me and it gives me a reason to continue living. I've spent so much time and so many tears over superficial things that I forgot how much I really have and how much I am loved.

So, this average girl is going to out into the world and try her best to make her dream come true. First, I am going to bust my ass to make a decent grade in statistics for the second time around (crosses fingers and prays) then I am going to apply to a graduate counseling program. I'm not going to say it won't hurt not getting into a grad. program on the first try, but I will tell myself that there is always tomorrow. Then eat a big tub of ice cream! :) I want to be a counselor because I want to let people know that the world isn't full egotistical bigots and that there are some people out there who really care.

If you're an Average Joe (Joan?) like myself on the outside, don't fret. Inside, you are more awesome than you could ever imagine. :)